Professor Dumbledore's Defamation Suit
by greencyanide
Summary: What happens when Rita Skeeter questions our beloved Headmaster's sexual orientation. No slash. AU.


Melvin Crudd was sweating like a pig, wiping his glasses with his fingers and trying to breathe. That is what happens when twenty five reporters cram into a thirty square-foot room, waiting for the verdict of the juiciest case Wizengamot has ever seen. Twenty five men in a thirty square foot room - what does that leave each reporter? One point two square foot, exactly. And he could bet his new gold watch, the _Daily Prophet_ correspondent's paunch was hogging a good two foot itself. Melvin felt someone's elbow make a good impact on his ribs, and he stepped on someone's foot. The owner of the foot made a yelp, but it was lost in the general howls of other such victims.

Suddenly, the blessed, automatic voice sounded in the room. "The verdict has been reached. You may now leave the room and wait outside the court room."

The result was apocalyptic and Melvin found himself scrambling, stumbling, screeching, thumping his way out of the room. Finally when he had been able to scratch his way out, he realized he was the last one to make out of it. The reporters were already running for the court room, and he followed suit, panting like a dog. Court room however, was, not on the same floor, which meant another good four minutes fighting in the elevator.

"Hold it!" he shouted, slipping on the polished floor, as a few reporters tried to squirm into the already crowded elevator.

Melvin wondered if it would have been easier to just run up the stairs, as an old lady squeezed him right into the wall, and her angry Kneazle started spitting at him. _Melvin, dear boy, you have earned enough NEWTS to go for Healer training. No Dad, I wanna be a journalist_, he thought bitterly, as the Kneazle tried to connect its claw with his face_. A frigging journalist! What was I thinking?_

Finally, they reached the seventeenth floor, where the court room was, and he literally grappled his way out (but not before he had earned a few nasty scratched on his wrist).

The reporters had made a beeline towards a room with the number 33 etched on the door. Melvin stepped in with them. He saw Maybelle Cartwright, from _Dublin Times_ standing in one corner of the corridor, away from the crowd, drawing lavishly at her cigarette. Melvin tried to wipe his glasses in another valiant effort, and leaned against the wall beside her.

For the lack of better idea, he started, "Hello Maybelle."

Maybelle looked back with her smoky eyes. "Ah, so _Somerset Bugle_ sends its star reporter to this humble gathering?"

Melvin almost started to blush, then he realized she was toying with him. So he said, "Humble? You call the biggest scandal of the century humble?"

Maybelle laughed. "Oh dear, dear. Now, why should it be a scandal. A man has his right to be gay or straight as he wishes."

"Not when you're Hogwarts Headmaster."

"Oh, don't be so prude. It's not as if he was found with a dozen strippers in his office."

"Maybelle! Okay, maybe not. But still... I don't know. Well, the world doesn't seem to take it so lightly. If it had, I wouldn't have almost chocked to death in that room downstairs."

"Well, they put the newbies there."

"Shut up, they're coming out."

Maybelle laughed silently, as two very official looking wizards in black robes came out the room.

"Wow, they do look grim. Wonder if old Dumbledore got lucky."

Maybelle smirked. "Of course he did. Even if it's all true, who wouldn't want to sue Rita Skeeter?"

Melvin smiled. "Yes, that's true," he said, thinking about her claws and gold teeth.

In a minute a smiling woman entered the room. A commotion started as Dumbledore came out behind her. They could all see from Dumbledore's happy face, he was now a richer man. Seventy million Galleons richer.

The woman stated, rather shouted over the questions of the reporter. "As you know we are gathered here to release statement on the verdict of the recent defamation suit our client Professor Albus Dumbledore had filed against Rita Skeeter who told a capacity crowd at Tarnegie Hall that Professor Dumbledore is homosexual. I am happy to inform you that our client has won the case."

There was another burst of questions in the crowd, as everyone scribbled in their notepads.

"Professor Dumbledore, what do you have to say about the accusations?"

"On what grounds do you think Rita Skeeter made the accusations?"

And the questions flowed.

Dumbledore stretched out his arms in the same manner he did in Hogwarts before the feast, as Melvin remembered. But the woman pulled down his hand.

She said, "We believe that Ms. Skeeter's comments were libelous, inflammatory, and simply untrue. We had hoped the courts would help us undo the damage done to Dumbledore's reputation, and we got satisfactory results. Now if you will excuse us, my client and I need to discuss something."

With that she whisked away the old man, and a sour-looking wizard took their place.

She started in a monotone, as if she would forget whatever she had memorized if she said it with any expression, "Wizengamot has taken into account the statement put in by the Hogwarts staff. Another statement, signed by 27 of their 32 teachers and sent by owl mail, assured parents that they accept Dumbledore at his word but will be careful. "We are proud to stand behind the illustrious personage of Albus Dumbledore in this trying time. We have no reason to believe Ms. Skeeter's disgusting insinuation of sexual misconduct, however we are taking precautionary measures to ensure that student safety is our first concern," reads an excerpt from the statement." For further queries, please contact the public relations officials. Good afternoon. You may leave for individual interviews."

With that she left, and the reporters started scattering across the corridor.

Melvin looked at the elevator, which was again spilling reporters.

"How about we take the stairs?" he asked.

Maybelle stubbed her cigarette out. "Sounds good to me."

Just at the next floor, they saw the Hogwarts staff being interviewed by the hungry reporters, who, as usual, were trying to twist their statements into something juicy. But they seemed to be prepared, repeating the same bland statements every time.

Maybelle tugged at his sleeve. "Look over there, it's Professor Slughorn. Aw, look at him, he's blushing like a bride! Come on, let's meddle him a bit."

Melvin laughed. "You evil witch. He's harmless!"

But nonetheless, the nudged away the skinny reporter who was interviewing him. "Good afternoon, Professor."

"Good morning, young lady. So, tell me,what do you want to know?"

"Oh, Professor, you know just the usual. Do you think it is that big a deal, if Professor Dumbledore is gay?"

"Oh, dear, I certainly don't. But not that he is... I mean he's not. He just won the case... And I _know_ for certain that he's not.. gay," said Slughorn struggling with the word.

Maybelle mischievously raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you _know_."

Slughorn cheeks were cherry red. "Yes, I.. He's an old friend. I know him _very_ well.." he kept stammering as Meybelle's eyebrows arched higher.

Finally Slughorn gave up. He mumbled something about getting back to Hogwarts and walked away... Well, fled would be a better word.

Melvin waited until he was out of earshot, and then started guffawing. "Oh... Merlin! That was hilarious!"

Maybelle was grinning and she said, "Yeah, well fun's not over. Come on, let's get a quote from Professor McGonagall. She just got free of the _Daily Prophet_ horde."

But that became a little inconvenient, when she started screeching before they even approached her.

"He IS NOT GAY! GO ASK SKEETER WHY SHE SAID THAT!"

Melvin jumped, and Maybelle muttered, "Right, thank you professor, for your time."

Melvin dragged her clear, as Professor McGonagall looked poised to throw the silver glass in her hand at anyone who even mentioned Dumbledore.

"Geez, what's her problem? It's not like we're accusing her of consorting with Dumbledore!"

"Maybe that's what she's so afraid of."

Maybelle giggled. "Oh, Melvin. I'm corrupting you."

"Maybe I don't mind," he said suggestively, but she moved on to another topic.

"You know whose statement I found most rational? Hermione Granger. She said that it is not a crime to be gay. It is a crime to attribute homosexuality in calumny. And I totally agree. And Harry Potter just ran when I went to get a quote on him last Saturday. Who knew the big hero is such a ninny?"

"Okay, but it's our job to poke the dirt, so we can't help. Come on, who's next?"

"Well, there's Snape sitting alone. Oh, let's just wrap it up, we'd say we didn't find anyone else available for a statement."

"Come on, he's not that bad. Personally, I had expected something more colourful from him. Something juicy, about Dumbledore."

"Melvin, you crave gossip like old ladies."

"Let's just get a statement, okay?"

Snape was sitting like a statue, and Melvin cleared his throat to get his attention.

"Good afternoon, Professor. We were wondering if we could get a statement."

Snape looked bored. "I had signed the written statement. Go read it."

_Typical Snape_, thought Melvin. _Well since, I'm no longer a student, he can't take House points if I poke around a bit. Here goes nothing..._

"Professor, I'm a bit confused. Ms. Skeeter had said she had substantial proof to back up her statement. Yet she lost the case."

"What are you suggesting?" Snape chewed his words.

"Not suggesting anything. One is just curious..."

"Apparently, Wizengamot has not considered the proof _substantial_."

"Of course. Professor Snape, you have known Professor Dumbledore for long. Surely, you would have found out -"

"If you are done asking irrelevant questions, I would request you to leave me alone."

"Irrelevant, professor?"

"He won the case, didn't he?"

"He did. So, you're saying Professor you didn't get any indication that Professor Dumbledore might be gay?"

He could see a vein throbbing in Snape's temple, and Maybelle warningly tugged at his robes. Melvin knew he was close.

"Rephrasing a question does not change the answer," snapped Snape.

Melvin hoped his eyes were twinkling as much as he intended, and he smiled wickedly. "I am sure, professor. But as it happens, just a few minutes back, Professor Slughorn was telling us that he _knew_," he said.

He waited with bated breath; both his hope and courage seemed to be waning as Snape's vein swelled, and he had the look that kept the nastiest troublemakers at Hogwarts in line.

Then something happened so suddenly, Melvin didn't even have the time to be surprised.

Snape jumped up from his chair, sending it flying across the room, and started shouting, "Yes, I know. I KNOW! Dumbledore _is_ gay! Rota Skeeter's proof _was _substantial, if that's what you want to know. Every Hogwarts teacher has had reasons to question Dumbledore's sexuality _before_ Skeeter outed him and I'm not just talking about his _obvious_ crush on Potter. And yes, I _am_ one of those five teachers who did _not_ sign the statement. I have been dragged down here against my wishes!"

The entire room had fallen silent. For a few moments, the only sound that was heard was of Snape breathing heavily.

Then the whole room seemed to process the recent confession and a tide of reporters surged in towards Snape, shoving Melvin and Maybelle out of the way.

Maybelle seemed too shocked for words and opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, like a fish out of the water. Melvin came to her rescure.

"I think we got enough for today, don't you think?"

Maybelle nodded dazedly.

Melvin realized this was his chance. "How about we get out of here and grab something to eat?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," said Maybelle, her eyes full of newfound admiration.

**x x x x x x**

"How did you know he was hiding something?" asked Maybelle, for the third time, as she dipped her fish stick into the mustard.

Melvin laughed. "Give it a rest, will you? I don't know, I just felt it. Instinct."

The Wizvision was replaying Snape's outburst on the loop. They both watched, and it looked funnier on screen.

"Wonder what he's facing back at Hogwarts," smirked Melvin.

Maybelle sniggered, "Some music, I'd say."

Then a clip of Lucius Malfoy, started playing.

A very scornful Lucius Malfoy was saying, "I'm afraid for my son. Who knows what vile acts that faggot headmaster made him do! I call for Dumbledore's resignation."

A menacing reporter chipped in, "But sir, there have been rumours, your own brother-in-law Rabastan Lestrange was in a relationship with fellow schoolmate, Antonin Dolohov."

Lucius faltered for a second, before tossing his head back. "I'm not homophobic, I simply believe that it is not in the best interests of our student body to have Albus as headmaster in light of the current situation."

Maybelle stretched. "Well, I have to go get this report done. See you, then."

"Sure," said Melvin, standing up.

Maybelle walked towards the door, as Melvin paid the busboy.

He, too, picked up his files, and made his way out, when the busboy called, "Sir, I think you dropped something."

Melvin turned back to see him holding out a note. He grinned as he read it.

_Call me. 113-828-4496_

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Inspired by http:/ / teddydouglas . blogspot . com/ 2007/ 10/ dumbledore-im-not-gay-sues-rowling-for . html.**

**Prompt for Thursday 14th October: Rescue. ****Additional prompts - hope, courage, 33**

**Personal reaction - I just soooo loved writing it! :P**

**P.S: I know wizards don't know use of telephone, but c'mon, it's AU, Dumbledore and Snape are alive, ****Dumbledore is fighting to save is straight image, two former male Death Eaters are 'in a relationship', so a telephone is hardly a deal-breaker.**


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